You might be a mom if….

  

We’ve all seen those catchy Buzzfeed articles and Pinterest lists and GIF’s of the top 10 ___________of the last 10 __________, but you never know if those are real or if someone is just making up stories to get a read. So in light of my speculation (and genuine need to know I’m not alone) here are the top 16 situations from the last 2 weeks of my 100% real life that remind us ALL that…..

“You might be a mom if…..”

1) You sign the back of a check with a crayon bc you can’t find a pen anywhere….

  
2) You take a different route home to avoid driving by a playground and disappointing your child for all eternity 

3) You’re pretty sure half of the baby bath water had pee in it but you literally don’t care

4) You have a 90’s Spotify playlist that your toddler found and now all your son wants to listen to is Gangsta’s Paradise. Thanks Coolio…..

  
5) If your backseat looks like this…..

  
6) If you get a toddler granola bar thrown at your face in the grocery store and you spank your kid on a secret aisle so somebody doesn’t call CPS on you and so somebody else doesn’t judge you for not disciplining your child 

7) If you immediately went down the wine or cookie aisle after #6

8) If you get your kid a drum set but make him play with smoothie straws instead of real drumsticks so you don’t lose every last brain cell all the live long day…..

  
9) If you’ve ever had your face sneezed on at point blank range 

10) If you fantasize about sleeping past 7am

11) If you’ve ever thrown your back out trying to reach a toy in the backseat (see above) only to have that toy immediately thrown back into the exact same spot 

12) If you’ve ever run around your house making raptor noises to entertain your child

13) If you ever sent someone a text telling them your toddler just went pee pee in the potty for the first time! 

14) If you’ve ever had your pants pulled down while you’re doing the dishes and don’t have a dry hand to pull them back up

15) If you’ve ever watched your toddler find a microscopic piece of mushroom on his pizza and react as if that mushroom had poison on it and you were intentionally trying to kill him 

16) If you’ve ever had your toddler waiting at the door to hug you and say “hi mommy” and tell you all about his day ❤️ 

~Tiff

real stories | real life

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